Many folks balk at the default acceptance part of the EFT Setup, “I deeply and completely accept myself.” Keep in mind that we are not talking about accepting yourself forever and for everything you ever did – THAT would be tough for everyone.
The goal of the acceptance part of the Setup is to have just a moment of self acceptance. Just for right this very minute.
There are lots of variations on acceptance to sneak in and modify the Setup without inviting immediate rejection of the comment. Things like:
I want to accept myself.
I want to want to accept myself.
I’ll think about accepting myself – someday.
I’m OK – some of the time anyway.
When we have self esteem issues around our value and worth this view of self will prevail! It prevents, even sabotages, dealing with whatever issue we want to address with EFT. Sometimes tapping on our own resistance to accepting ourselves can shift many issues all by itself. Our negative view of ourselves turns into our “identity,” the feeling that this is the truth of who I am. Our self image shows up when see ourselves in the mirror in the morning. It may show up when we compare ourselves to others as we go through our day. We somehow don’t measure up; others are better. We are somehow flawed. Are we?
No one is perfect – period. Annism: “If you think someone is perfect and has it all together you just don’t know them well enough.” Given that, what is realistic about thinking we have to be perfect? Another Annism: “Perfection is a journey, not a destination.” Self esteem is about accepting ourselves with all our imperfections, just in this moment, while still growing, improving…
People sometimes ask why EFT is not holding or why EFT doesn’t seem to work for them or why EFT may even seem to make it worse. My opinion (I always have an opinion!!) is that their self image, their identity, is tied up in their issue. Changing who we think we are, our identity, is the ultimate fear. We say we want to but we are afraid to.
Ask questions such as, “What does … mean to you?” “What does … mean about you?” “What would happen if you did (or didn’t) do …?” “If it were possible to tap this issue away what would be different in your life? What would that difference mean to you?”
I’ve mentioned in an earlier post that NLP (neurolinguistic programming) is one of my three top techniques for helping others. NLP concepts include a “triad.” This triad encompasses all behavior, including emotions, and has three parts: physiology and posture – which influence our bio chemistry which influences our emotions, mental focus – what we focus on that creates our experience of the world, and, the language – the words we use to express ourselves.